Ann and Zanzibar announce engagement
Ann Pellegrini and longtime domestic companion Zanzibar (who uses no last name) have announced their engagement after a whirlwind 14+ year courtship. Zanzibar (left) works from home, where he is designing a new social networking platform (CatNapster). Pellegrini (right) teaches at NYU. They plan an October wedding to allow time for Zanzibar to get through the worst of the shedding season. It will be a deconstructed Cat(h)olic ceremony: Latin liturgy and heavy on the catnip incense. They do not plan to register their union with the state, though Zanzibar does plan to register with Petco. Their one regret is that they did not formalize their partnership à trois, when Zanzibar’s litter-mate Orlando was still alive, thereby hitting all the cultural flash-points (same-sex, polyamourous, incestuous, cross-species).
JASBIR AND NICO ELOPE
Announcing the elopement of Jasbir and Nico (while Nico’s humans, Tavia and Marc, were off cavorting in Croatia).
Jasbir and Nico will continue their interspecies, intergenerational, multi-household, cross-borough, non-monogamous marriage with full blessings from them.
NAN AND MULDER ANNOUNCE NUPTIALS
Nan and Mulder today announced that, after more than 12 years of cohabitation, they made it official in a secret ceremony last week. They are on honeymoon in an undisclosed location, due to their fear of Scully’s scorn. Scully, who also cohabits with the two newlyweds, is a well known feline critic of the institution of marriage. After learning of the wedding, Scully commented, “Shame!” The newly hitched couple’s only response was from Nan, who noted, “Mulder chose these pink sheets. I had nothing to do with it.”
SHANNON AND RALPH CELEBRATE ANNIVERSARY #9
Ralph and I are happy to announce that we are celebrating our 9th anniversary this year. Our bond has stood the test of time and as well as new additions to our relationship. First Hera, a kitten on the verge of abandonment. Then Mr.Thomas Crackers, who lost his home in a divorce. Next a new human and her diva cat Cassidy. And most recently Mr. Foucault (a dog!). Ralph, thankyou for proposing 9 years ago. Thank you for sticking with me! I love you.
To Be Married: CARMELITA and HER IPHONE
Carmelita Tropicana has announced her engagement to her new white 3Gs iPhone. After a whirlwind courtship, the two fell in love. Registration for wedding gifts will be at the Soho Apple Store.
From The Irish Times, July 10, 2009 (HT: Noreen Giffney)
GHANAIAN woman has married her dog because it has qualities she had seen only in her late father.
Emily Mabou (29) of Aburi married the 18-month-old dog in a ceremony attended by a traditional priest and local, curious villagers. Her younger brother David Mabou said her family boycotted the wedding, which they felt was “a stupid step to combat her loneliness.”
But Ms Mabou said: “For so long, I’ve been praying for a life partner who will have all the qualities of my dad. My dad was kind, faithful and loyal to my mum, and he never let her down.
“I’ve been in relationships with so many men here in Togo, and they are all the same – skirt-chasers and cheaters. My dog is kind and loyal to me, and he treats me with so much respect.”
At the ceremony, the priest warned villagers not to mock the wedding, but to “rejoice with her as she has found happiness at last.”
Asked how she intended to raise children with her new husband, Ms Mabou said simply: “We will adopt.”