It’s Time to Join THE COCKTAIL PARTY

19 Feb

Immoderated by Lisa Duggan

Are you nauseated and frightened by the growth of Tea Party organizing, and the zany old white people in funny hats at the center of the current media blitz?  It’s time to fight back!  Join The Cocktail Party, a barstool-roots movement for left wing urban homosexuals and the people who love us.  The major planks of this new movement’s platform include:

*Nationalize the banks
*Soak the rich with high taxes
*Abolish the Senate
*Abolish the Electoral College
*Free public education through college for all
*Free day care for elders and children
*National health care
*Universal accessibility
*Abolish all student loan, credit card and mortgage debt
*Withdraw from Iraq and Afghanistan, shift resources to the Arts, and to an independent Haiti
*Forgiveness of all debt of developing countries
*Outlaw invidious discrimination
*Abolish prisons for all non violent crime, prioritize community rehabilitation for all crime
*Decriminalize sex work and drugs
*Open borders
*Abolish marriage

This platform is a work in progress.  We seek additional ideas from all leftist urban homosexuals and their comrades.  We acknowledge that this platform will take some time to implement.  We crafted this list of policy goals with the intention, minimally, of  driving the Tea Partiers crazy with rage.  Because we are exactly who they think we are–a motley crew of miscegenated sex crazed lushes who read Marx and Fanon, seeking to support our lifestyles by taking resources from the rich and powerful and redistributing them with abandon.

(Note: We are not publishing further comments on this post.  There are too many; we are not able to process them. Please email bullybloggers@gmail.com with comments and questions.  We will publish consolidated comment excerpts periodically.)

3 Responses to “It’s Time to Join THE COCKTAIL PARTY”

  1. bullybloggers February 22, 2010 at 11:38 am #

    Clarifications:

    1) The “left wing urban homosexuals” framing in the CP “platform” is meant as a polemical/rhetorical response to the demonizations by right wing populists. It’s like a domestic version of the Axis of Evil. The phrase “and the people who love us” is a wide open invitation to fellow travelers and sympathizers willing to be tarred with guilt by association! So welcome to all rural, suburban,bi pan trans kinky and heterosexuals into the Big Tent where we love the left wing urban homos and all they stand for in right wing populist imaginings!

    2) To tea partiers and their friends who visit this site: Yes, we know where wealth comes from–from all the people who work hard and get paid little, while profits from their hard work are sucked into the coffers of parasites, gamblers and plutocrats on Wall Street and elsewhere. If all those hard working people actually cooperatively owned the businesses they build and sustain, that wealth could be taken out of the pockets of parasites and put into helping sustain life on earth–providing needed services, caring for dependents, supporting the arts and education, creating democratic media, and more. We don’t understand why those of you who are not *openly* in the pockets of plutocrats support policies that allow them to extract wealth from a tottering economy–putting shareholder value in all corporate decision making over sustaining the life and welfare of communities. Why not take those billions in compensation for Wall Street barons and use them to provide free accessible health care for all of us? Nationalize the banks! How about taking those trillions spent on wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and redirect that money to rebuild New Orleans and Detroit, and an independent Haiti while we’re at it? Then why not raise taxes sky high on those who enjoy unearned or criminally excessive incomes and spend that money creating a full employment economy, and a vibrant educational system? You all live in a fantasy world of independent yeoman farmers and small producers, arrayed against an imagined evil behemoth of collectivist goverment theft. But in the real world, multinational corporations and Wall Street investment banks suck money out of your labor and channel it upward to people who make money by having money. You really belong with us, not the corporate plutocrats who want to cut taxes and shrink the government so they can transfer that money into their own pockets rather than spend it on the services and supports you need. So much more to say….. Come on over! Have a martini, beer or herbal tea on us!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Mad Tea Party in the Diamondback « Sassyfrass Circus Productions - March 24, 2010

    […] p.s. Join the cocktail party! […]

  2. Quick Reflection | Fox NewsTrack - September 24, 2014

    […] politics tilt pretty far to The Left. I follow Jezebel, The Atlantic, Autostraddle, and The Cocktail Party for fun, and typically get my news from sources that lean as far back on their […]

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